Black Women! Beware of Naysayers, Slackers & Spirit Vampires, Plan ABC? More Weddings

BWIIM&R: SLICE: Beware of Naysayers, Slackers & Spirit Vampires, Plan ABC? More Weddings: Read more of this article click here

Evelyn Paul (chef to the wealthy) with husband, Andrew and family-- Thanks, Felicia!
Evelyn, on the lefthand side, is 37, and looks as young as her daughters! And yes, we must spread the news and views of  bw--on this SLICE. That's what we, here at the EZINE, do.  Her  SITE1  SITE2. See video below plus her Style Site.
This is a GREAT type of business for someone who likes to cook. Go to culinary school and get the credentials; then go for it!! Find a few people to cook for  and if you're good, they will help you to build your clientele.
This goes for any kind of personal service that you can supply. There are people who CAN afford you.
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Entry begins--
We are in the midst of getting ready for my oldest son's wedding AND condo-shopping. We are also getting ready to go away for a weeklong vacation. Whew!

Re our condo-shopping, our blended, growing family is planning to buy a multi-bedroom condo in the city that we can all use whenever we're in the city, or we may rent out sometimes.

The point is that we will own a place in the area of the city that we like the most, and thankfully, condo maintenance is shared by the condo association (exterior) and owner (interior).  I love that. I already own a very nice condo in an adjacent state that I bought when I got divorced, but it was important to Darren that we make our home here on the farm. So, I moved here.

Between me and you, I get restless on the farm sometimes (too much tranquility), so that's when I or Darren and I go and spend time in the city and stay at the apartment we currently rent there.

I rent my condo to my youngest adult son. He likes living there. So, it's a win-win for both of us. His expenses are very low since he rents from his mom and the rent he pays me pays for the condo and its fees.
 
Mercy and Daniel
Engagement Site & Wedding Video



Daniel & Mercy - Wedding Highlights from Kenneth Munoz on Vimeo.
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Tiffany and Beau (his name)  SITE
I was talking to one of my male cousins down south early this morning about a family business that he's started with his four daughters. So, we kicked around the possibility of his daughters and my sons possibly joining in together for the business or at least helping each other out, at intervals at some point in the future. It can be done. My cousins and I are bound together by my grandmother.
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Melody and Dustin  SITE 
My grandmother was born and bred in the backwoods of Alabama and never traveled far from there. She was a dynamo of a woman, with lots of energy and ideas. She planted the business "bug" in the grandchildren who spent the most time with her. That's me and several of her other grandchildren, which of course, includes this particular male cousin.

She was already quite old by the time I became fully aware of her, but it was largely from her that I learned that the world was available and open to Black women, despite any barriers. I don't just think that; I know that.
She proved that the world was open and available to women who look like her and me. She proved this by her accomplishments in Jim Crow Alabama and its aftermath.

Looking back on her life, apparently she didn't tolerate naysayers. LOL! They either stayed away from her or they kept quiet. I know that because I spent a lot of my childhood living with her and I don't recall ever hearing anyone talk about what they couldn't do or what I or anyone couldn't do, around her. I do remember some of the biting opinions she had about slackers, so I knew I could never become a slacker. I grew up believing that I could do and MUST do.
She also instilled in me that I, as a bw, must have always have a Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C and that all of these plans must be attended to frequently--stoked and nursed--because I might need one or more of them at any time to pay off for me. She often said: "It's a foolish mouse that only has one hole." LOL! Said another way, "You have to have many irons in the fire because you never know when you may need for one of them to be hot."  Bw--Do NOT broadcast your plan a, b, c to anyone! Just make sure your plans are humming along, behind the scene.

So bw, this is why I have a difficult time accepting the jibberish about what some of you can't do. That is all in your head. You have simply been surrounded by naysayers, slackers, those who suck away at your spirit; they program you to fail. What's even worse is that some of you seem to like and love these naysayers, slackers and spirit vampires. You allow them to become your friends and lovers but you then don't seem to understand why you can't get rid of that confusion and  depression, why you just can't get the money to move away from people who stress you out,  or why you can't meet and mesh with a QLL man.

Ciana and Robert
SITE
  You need to get away from those naysayers, slackers, and vampires! If you feel comfortable around people like that, they've GOT you.

Some of you say "amen" to that, but then you write to me and present all kinds of excuses as to why you just can't get away from these folks. LOL!

You'd be amazed at the brightness of your days if you get away them. And you absolutely must get away from the MEDIA too. Turn away from the media!!
I run across sites online where Black women discuss those reality shows as if they're real life!!
Yes, I used to watch soap operas, but I always knew they had nothing to do with real life. These days, many young women of all groups identify with those reality show 'stars' and try to mimic them. For ex., I hear of white women who dress like and mimic the behavior of the dance studio owner of that 'Dance Mom' reality show. I've sat on my sofa while that show happened to be on TV.
And just this morning, my male cousin laughed about how his daughter, who is engaged, has turned into a 'Bridezilla'! SMH

Anyway, I never allowed naysayers, slackers, or spirit vampires to remain in my social orbit when I was working outside the home, and of course, they're not around me now. I showed no interest in them. They considered me aloof and snobbish. Good! So they left me alone.

And yes, I've gotten lonely for likeminded others at times. But it is far, far better to be alone than to chip yourself down to mesh with people who will bring you down--permanently. My common sense and mental state are way too valuable to allow anyone to mess with them!!

Some of you write me notes saying you admire me, but I always feel a bit uncomfortable when I receive those notes. I am just being myself. I haven't done anything but be myself, an ordinary perosn. My life has been pretty smooth sailing. I am thankful.
Some people tell me that they love it that I don't ever change. Well, no, I won't--because I'm just being myself. LOL! Is that an achievement these days? I dunno.
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Charday and Jack
 SITE

I've been able to meet and mesh with 3 QLL men (engaged to all 3, but married 2 of them), but that didn't take any effort on my part. I was just being myself.
It was actually easy because I am ONLY attracted to QLL men. It has nothing to do with their race, ethnicity, religion, etc. The proof of that is that my first serious relationship was with an Arab Muslim man who was born and bred in the Middle East, my 2nd great romance was with a Nigerian man, and the current man who lights up my days and warms my nights is Darrren, a Yankee, white man. What really amazes me are the striking similarities between these 3 men.


This is a part of the reason why I have self-defined as a PAB (passing as black) woman. I know that there is absolutely nothing essentially different between the races, ethnicities, and religions of people. There is a ton of proof of all types for this.
And in my case, if these men were so different--in their very essence, then  how could they be so incredibly much alike???? These 3 men are from diverse cultures that have never crossed paths.

That proves to me that it's not the race, ethnicity, or religion that causes these differences that so many people fixate on in other people; it's largely experiences that cause the differences.
I stress that because so many people think that these differences are genetic differences!
That also proves to me that whichever mate I might meet in my next life, he will be very much like these 3 men. Yes!
 Aside from their outward appearance and slight personality differences, these 3 men could be the same man. LOL! I just find that uncanny!!!! I met the Arab man when I was 21 and I feel like I'm still with him. LOL!!!
Who would have thought beforehand that I would mesh with an Arab Muslim man???? The sterotype is that they are sexist womanizers. Not the one that I meshed with. Who would think I would mesh with a Nigerian man? The stereotype about them is that they are sexist, domineering, womanizers. Not the one I married and lived with for 26 years. Who would think I, an Alabama woman, could mesh with a Yankee white man from a conservative background (though he, personally, is very liberal)?

Suppose I hadn't been friendly and receptive to these men!! I would have blocked my happiness. I would have prevented myself and my children from living well, living a life on a level--during periods of my life--that some of you can't even imagine.

This is why I urge bw, without any reservation, to go out there, mingle like a butterfly, and find or be found by the most compatible  QLL man for you. In my experience, race, religion, and ethnicity did NOT make a difference; it boils down to compatibility between INDIVIDUALS. So your ONE man is an individual--NOT a group of men.
So, why would any intelligent woman overlook whole groups of individual men when the most compatible man for you could be any ONE of those INDIVIDUAL men?

Smart bw are never going to do that. Smart bw VET all men. They mingle with QLL men, and this provides a tremendous boost to their forward and upward movement. Remember that in a patriarchal world,  the man a woman mates with will largely determine her fate AND the fates of her children and descendants, for generations.  
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Evelyn Paul's Video

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